Unedited Sneak peek ... Unedited

Kimora Simon.

Smoke filled the space and burned my eyes as I tried to make my way down the narrow hallway. I could barely see two feet in front of me but I stumbled as best I could, holding on tightly to the arms that were wrapped around my neck.

“C’mon, Kimora! You have to hurry up!” I heard my sister, Kam, yell from somewhere in front of me.

My lungs burned as I coughed so hard that I thought they would give out on me. I tried to use my sleep shirt to cover my nose to stop myself from inhaling the fumes but it was no use. There was just too much of it.

“I’m scared, Mimi.” The small voice that belonged to my niece whispered in my ear.

“It’s okay. Just close your eyes and put your face in my neck. We’ll be okay, soon.” I told her even though I wasn’t sure if it was true.

“Kimora, let’s go!” Kam yelled again.

Finally making my way out of the hallway, the heat coming from the flames became intense and I felt like I had just stepped into an oven, or hell. Yeah, this definitely had to be hell. I couldn’t believe my eyes as fire consumed the couches and the curtains in the living room. I stood frozen watching picture frames burn off the wall and crash to the floor. The  floor creaked and  the walls crackled and popped  as sparks danced off of the burning wood.

“You can’t stand here like this. We have to go, Mimi.” My sister yelled, yanking my arm and dragging me down the rest of the hallway.

Gripping my sister’s hand for dear life, I let her pull me through the kitchen and through the laundry room where the fire hadn’t had a chance to get to yet. Kam didn’t let go of my hand until we were completely out of the door and rounding the house to the front yard.

“Burn, baby, burn. Disco Inferno.” Tears stung my eyes as I watched my mother dance in front of our burning house with a smile on her face. Her hair was matted all over her head and the only thing covering her nakedness was the old hole filled t-shirt that seemed to swallow her thin frame.

Neighbors came out of their houses to watch the scene in front of them and I didn’t know what to feel at that moment. I felt someone tugging at my back and I came back to reality remembering that I was still holding my niece. Locking eyes with my sister, I loosened the grip I had on Natalie and let her take her from me.

The sirens and the horns of the fire trucks could be heard in this distance as my body moved on its own towards my mother.

“The roof. The roof. The roof is on fireeeeeee! We don’t need no water let this motherfucka burn! Burn! Burn!” She yelled, throwing rocks and sticks toward the house.

“MA! Stop this!” I yelled, grabbing her arm.

Turning to face me with blank eyes, she stared at me with a slight frown for a second before her eyes lit up with recognition and a smile spread across her face.

“Mimi, did you see what I did? Do you see them burning?” She questioned, pointing towards the house.

“See who burning, ma?”

“The demons.” She told me. “The voices stopped. I finally stopped them. I burned them with the house. That was the only way to make them stop.”

“NO ONE WAS IN THE HOUSE BUT US, MA! YOU COULD’VE KILLED US!” I screamed in her face as tears rolled down my cheeks.

She stared at me blankly like the words I was speaking were foreign. When she started smiling again, I dropped her arm as my legs gave out on me and my knees hit the dirt. I sat quietly crying as I watched the flames flicker off the house as my mom danced and laughed about what she had done.

Now what do we do, I thought.

* * * 

A year later…

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Rolling my eyes up into my head, I continued to ignore Kameron as she banged on the bathroom door.

“Hurry up, Kimora! I need to get in there.”

I finished washing my face and pulled my unruly hair into a tight ponytail to the back. Once I was done, I grabbed my essentials bag before opening the door and facing my older sister.

“Damn, it took you long enough.” She huffed pushing past me in the tight space and lifting her nightgown and plopping down on the toilet to relieve her bladder. “Where you think you going so early?”

“To school.” I replied, walking away.

Tripping over a toy in the hallway, I groaned internally and kicked the toy out of the way while walking the small distance to my bedroom. Well, the room I shared with my two nieces. After the incident with our mom a year ago, me and Kameron moved into a two bedroom apartment that welfare gave her. Since I was only sixteen when they commited my mom into the psych ward, I would have gone into the system for the next two years but when Kam realized she’d get a check and a live-in babysitter, she decided to sign the papers.

Grabbing my only clean uniform, I laid it out on my bed and moved around the small space attempting to get everything I needed so that once I was dressed I could leave. Just as I was putting my pants on, the room door opened and I didn’t bother looking behind me because the cigarette smoke let me know it was Kam.

“You need to stop wastin’ your time goin’ to that school everyday and find a way to help to bring some money in this house.” She said from behind me. “These bills ain’t cheap.”

“What bills, Kam? The rent is free, the water is included and the lights are like sixty bucks because welfare pays most of that with the check they send you every month.”

“Okay and you said that to say what? These kids ain’t cheap and neither are you.”

Ignoring her, I continued to put my clothes on before grabbing my all white Forces from the shoebox that I kept them in at the top of the closet.

“You think you better than me, huh? You think goin’ to that school every day and listening to a white person tell you about the fucked up history of this world makes you better than someone. You waste eight hours a day going to school and for what?”

“You sound just like her.” I mumbled.

“Then that should tell you something. You got all them book smarts and ain’t got a lick of street sense. You pretty as fuck, Kimora and your body is fuckin’ bangin’. All you gotta do is come out one of these nights that me and Tammi go out and you could make a killin’. You ain’t even gotta fuck on these niggas. Stroke they ego a little bit  and they’ll come out them pockets. I know you tired of them tired ass tips you make at the diner. You could be makin’ some real money with us.”

“And fuckin’ them niggas like mama did should’ve told you somethin’.” I shot back. “For years we thought, Kimberly was goin’ crazy. Thinkin’ she was bipolar schizophrenic but come to find out, she started goin’ crazy because she spread her legs for the wrong nigga and he gave her syphilis. It turned her brain into Swiss cheese and she tried to burn the house down with us in it, Kam. You shouldn’t even want to do the shit because you ain’t got to.”

“Face the truth, Mimi. The life you want don’t work out for people like us. You think school gon’ magically turn you into someone else if you get your diploma. You want to be someone else so bad. You’re the daughter of a hoe, just like me. But instead of trying to run from the shit, I embrace it. The only way niggas is goin’ to take care of you is if you comin’ up off the little wet box you got between your legs. You might not want to face the shit now but love ain’t gon’ pay your bills when you get out on your own and you need a hustle starting now. That school shit cool but it’s long term. You want to change how we livin’, then learn how to put them books down and get this shit out the mud like the rest of us. That school shit only gon’ get you so far.” She told me before leaving me in the room with my thoughts.

Everyone had a plan of getting out the hood. Mine was school. I had one more year to land a scholarship and I hated to admit it but Kameron was right, if I didn’t get accepted into school, then what? I didn’t have a plan B.

To Be Continued...

The Beautiful & The Damned: Kimora and Hassin

Official release date: TBA... I'm feeling Lemonade-ish with this release!!